TOW Everyone Finds Out (sent in by Larissa)
The teaser starts out with the gang looking at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment. They notice a bunch of boxes so decide he must be moving. Ross points out that ironically, most of the boxes are labeled "clothes." Ross says if UNG is moving, maybe he can move in there. They see UNG trying to slowly pull tape off himself, but Joey says it's a lot better if you pull it off in one quick motion.
Phoebe finds out about Monica and Chandler by seeing them kissing and taking off their clothes, watching UNG's apartment.
In Central Perk, Phoebe asks if every time M&C have been doing laundry, or when Monica's on the phone... Rachel says, "Yep, doing it, doing it." Phoebe says that's great for Chandler, but Monica could probably do better. Joey comes in, and Rachel tells him that Pheebs knows about M&C. He says "You mean how they're friends and nothing more?" But then she says she saw them having sex. Joey says it's great, now the secret's out in the open, no more lying. Joey says one of his secrets is that he has a stuffed bedtime penguin pal. Rachel and Phoebe decide it would be more fun to play with them. Like when they say they're doing laundry, give them a bunch of laundry to do. Chandler comes in, and Phoebe hits on him. She says "You, Chandler, are the one person I can't talk to about this." Chandler says "Come one Pheebs, you can tell me anything." Phoebe says "Well, it's just that it's been so long since I was with a man. Sometimes the thing you've been waiting for is right in front of you, sipping coffee. Oh, have I said too much?" (I'm paraphrasing, I know some of these quotes aren't exactly right.)
In Monica and Rachels, Ross has applied for the apartment, but it turns out there's lots of applicants. Ross says it's okay because he sent over a bribe. They go to the window to look. "Is it that pinball machine with the bow?" "No." "Is it that new mountain bike?" "No." "Well, what is it?" "Mini- muffins." "The whole table's covered with mini muffins, which is yours?" "The small one." Ross decides he should get some of the same hobbies as UNG. They remember he had a trampoline and gravity boots but he broke them. Joey says one of his hobbies must be breaking things.
Next scene, Monica and Chandler are on Chandler's bed, and Chandler tells her that Phoebe hit on him, but Monica doesn't believe it.
Next, in M&R's apartment, Monica asks Chandler if he wants to do some laundry with her. He says "Sure, I'll do it with you." Rachel says "great" and brings out a huge bad of laundry for them. They say they don't have enough quarters. Phoebe holds up a big sack of quarters for them. Phoebe hits on Chandler again, then she and Rachel leave. Chandler asks Monica if she believes him now. Monica cries "She knows! She knows about us!" because Phoebe couldn't really be attracted to him. Chandler says "Thanks."
C&M go over to Chandler's apartment, where Joey is in one of the chairs with his penguin pal. He quickly hides it. Chandler and Monica ask if Rachel and Phoebe know about them, and Joey admits they do. Joey again thinks it'll be great, no more lying. But C&M decide not to let R&P know they know they know about them.
Ross goes over to UNG's, introduces himself, and says how nice it must be to be naked. We actually see UNG, and he's very ugly, fat, and naked. We actually only see him from a side angle, so you see his back and stomach, not his face.
Joey admits to P&R that C&M know that P&R know. P&R decide not to tell C&M that they know that they know that they know. Phoebe decides to hit on Chandler again. When she sees Chandler, he says she should come over at 7:00, and Phoebe says "I'm really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse." They go over to the window and look into UNG's apartment, noticing he has a naked friend. They are shocked to find out it's Ugly Naked Ross. Cut to scene of UNG and Ross sitting on UNG's couch, eating and chatting.
By this time, everyone knows everyone knows (except Ross) so it's a matter of who will crack first. Monica goes and hides in Chandler's bathroom. Phoebe gets ready for Chandler and goes over, with Rachel listening at the door. Phoebe and Chandler drink some wine. Chandler says he'll put on some music, but when he turns on the stereo, it's some weird sound Joey uses to scare the duck. Phoebe says it's okay, she can dance for him without music, and she does this really funny dance, trying to be sexy. Chandler says they should go to the bedroom. Phoebe says okay, but first he should put lotion on her. Chandler says okay and runs to the bathroom to get lotion. Monica is still in there and it turns out she's cleaned the bathroom. She tells Chandler to go "Get some!." Phoebe goes into the hall where Rachel is listening, and is scared Chandler's not cracking. Joey comes into the hallway. "You guys aren't done yet? I want to sit in my chair!" Rachel tells Phoebe not to sorry, she made Chandler cry using only her words once. Joey says to show him her bra, that'll scare him. Joey pulls open Phoebe's blouse (they had to do this part a couple extra times because MLB couldn't get it open). Phoebe says, "Hey Joey! You didn't break any buttons!" Joey says, "Well, it's not my first time." So Phoebe goes back in with Rachel and Joey listening at the door. Phoebe and Chandler go towards each other, and nervously put their hands on each other. They finally kiss very very awkwardly. Suddenly Chandler yells "Alright, alright, you win! I'm in love with her! Yes, I'm in love with Monica." Monica comes out and walks up to Chandler. Chandler says "I love you Monica." And Monica says "I love you too, Chandler." and they kiss. Phoebe says "Aww, I thought we were just getting you two to admit you were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!" Rachel and Joey are smiling. Joey says "Dude" really happily. C&M decide they still don't want Ross to know. Joey says "I'm going to my room, not coming out 'til he knows."
In the tag, Ross has gotten UNG's apartment, and he's over there showing it to his boss Donald, who ate his sandwich. His boss says Ross seems a lot more stable now, and it's time for Ross to come back to the museum. Ross says that would be great. Suddenly, Ross notices something. He slowly walks over to the window with a weird, puzzled expression on his face, saying "What..." Then he yells "GET OFF MY SISTER!"